Wits

Comedy, conversation, songs and surprises with host John Moe.

Wits

Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth


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by John Moe

When I was about 14, I heard James Taylor singing “You’ve Got a Friend” on the radio. In the chorus, he says if you just call out his name, he’ll come running to see you again. I remember laughing out loud at the idea of that literally happening, that I could yell “James Taylor” and the guy would drop everything to sprint, across the country if necessary, to be by my side. How easy to waste James Taylor’s time and energy.

Anyway, I kept these thought exercises in my head well into adulthood until it finally occurred to me to start writing them down. Eventually, letters about Taylor, Guns n’ Roses, Billy Joel, Elton John, and more started showing up on websites and, in performance mode, on Wits, the show I host today. This book takes the concept even further, expanding out to TV, film, comics, and many other parts of pop culture. I hope you enjoy the book and are not too psychologically damaged by the Fonzie part.

From the Publisher

We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth, John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, e-mails, text messages, and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see.

From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive—and much more.

Like a like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth offer a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

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Excerpts

Concerning Jon Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive
A thank-you note from Dorothy Gale to Glinda, the ‘Good’ Witch of the North

Reviews

Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth is proof that a funny book on pop culture doesn’t have to be snide and nasty. I loved everything about it.” –Jim Gaffigan

“Extremely funny.” –John Hodgman

“For those seeking hilarity in short bursts of pop culture inanity, this book is for you.” –Michael Ian Black

“This book made me laugh while learning, which is the best kind of funny.” –Margaret Cho